December 3rd

I don't actually have a picture that I took on the 3rd, since we were travelling home.  Monday was a blessedly uneventful day - well at least compared to the rest of the week!  So, I was thinking of what picture I wanted to post for this day's picture.  I found one that I took last year, and as I looked at it, my journal entry for this day came to me.  Here's the picture:



I took this picture at Steve's office Christmas party last year.  I was very nervous about going - I'd never met most of the people he works with (he started there 5 days after Abigail was born, so by this point, he'd been working there less than three month).  And, honestly, I struggle at most parties anyway.  I've never been particularly comfortable in large social situations anyway, (I'm always afraid I'm going to stick my foot in my mouth, in some oddly ridiculous way - remind me sometime to tell you about how I ended up saying, "Oh this is wonderful!  I always carry silverware around in my purse and this will be perfect for that!" at one of my wedding showers...)and in the last few years, I've struggled even more because my single-sided deafness makes it difficult for me to make out any conversation in a crowded, or even slightly loud room.  And this party was no different.  A few months later, Steve made some comment about me being deaf in one ear, and one of his co-workers said, "So, that's why she didn't laugh at any of your jokes at the Christmas party?  My wife and I commented on the fact that she seemed to be ignoring you..." Now, ignoring Steve is something I've been known to do on certain occasions, but that night, I intentionally sat with my bad ear to him, hoping that I'd at least pick up part of the conversation and not just spend the whole night nodding mindlessly.   Here's how I usually counteract the nervousness, I feel at parties - I hide behind my camera.  I take it with me and if I start to feel overwhelmed, I just pull out the Rebel, wander around, and find something cool to shoot.  That's how I got this picture....it's one that I've always liked.

This year, I'm going to try harder to enjoy the celebrations themselves - spend less time worrying about what parts of the conversations I might miss, less time worrying that I'll miss something someone said and come off as a complete dolt.  I'm going to revel in the fellowship, instead of letting my own insecurities get the better of me!  This might mean less pictures - NAH!  But, if you see me at a party, talk loudly and into my left ear!