Thursday was my birthday - my 40th birthday.  I had planned on spending the day doing something life-affirming.  Like cliff diving in Acapulco or sipping Mai Tais in Hawaii or hanging out with the Dali Lama in Tibet.  Yea, right.  My life-affirming plans included taking my little girl to the park and doing a bit of sewing.  That's pretty life-affirming for my life .  What I ended up doing was holding Abigail's poor, tired weak body as she threw up again and again and again throughout the day.  And holding her in the doctor's office while the doctor told us she has an ear infection, a stomach virus, and was mildly dehydrated.  And then, holding her again through the night to make sure that she took in enough fluids.  My baby girl was sicker than I ever remember seeing her - sicker even than when she had a 106 degree temp when she was nine months old, sicker than when she had those high fevers of unknown origin last March.  She has not left the bedroom in two days, except to take and pick Gracie up from school and to visit the doctor.  She has shaken her head pitifully when I ask her if she wants to go outside and play or do an art project or play with glitter.  She slept most of the day yesterday.  I'm hopeful that today we'll see some of her impishness and energy return.  I have plenty of time to celebrate and reflect on my milestone birthday - right now I just want to see my baby girl smile!