Last night, about 8:30, I scowled at the clock.  The day had slipped away me from again, lost in an endless array of code that didn’t work the way it should and therefore took twice as long as necessary to write, unexpected doctors’ visits, phone calls with my sister that were interrupted by my screaming children.  The insanity was peppered with a few, less hectic moments…time spent recording a book for Steve to take on his trip.  Although, honestly, that wasn’t all sunshine and roses…you can hear Abigail whining in the background of at least two of the pages that Gracie is reading.  Dinner was supposed to be the slow-roasted peppered beef sandwiches that Steve loves so much, but instead turned into a later than usual meal of chicken patties.  The house was in chaos, the victim of the girls having too much unsupervised time (see code that takes too long to write).  By 8:30, I wanted to drift off to sleep.  But, it was December 1st.  And I had made a promise to myself and to the girls.  This year we are going to do an Advent activity each day.  Yeah, if there’s a Advent slacker club, I’m the president.  But, I got my act together, gathered my Bible and the craft supplies we needed and sat down with the girls.  I’m using the eBook Truth in the Tinsel this year – it looks like it’s going to be fantastic and I like that so much of it is planned out for me, right down to the supplies you need for the crafts.

It was a wonderful, moving, joy-filled time, learning about Jesus and creating a sweet little craft.  Yeah, right.  Maybe your Advent celebration time goes like that.  Ours was an unmitigated disaster.  I was tired, impatient, and annoyed.  Gracie does not do well with crafts late at night.  She gets frustrated with scissors and glue even when she’s well-rested and happy, but night-time crafting sends her over the age.  By the time she’d made two cuts with her blunt-edged scissors, she was perilously close to losing it.  Abigail said to her, “Gracie, don’t worry about what it looks like – just have fun!”  (Love that girl!)  Gracie said, “I’m about to lose my temper with all this having fun!”  That when I committed the cardinal sin; I laughed.  Loudly.  At Gracie.  At least, that’s how she felt.  I tried to explain why I was laughing to her, but the damage was already done.  She dissolved into a puddle of tears and angry kicks.  It was not pretty.  Abigail finished her ornament while Gracie screamed in her bedroom as tears from my eyes splattered on the red and orange tissue paper we were using to make the “flame” for our candle ornaments.  Gracie finally came out of her room with tear-swollen eyes and finished hers, a little sob escaping her mouth occasionally. Hardly the picture of Advent togetherness that I was painting in my mind.  But, after the girls finally settled down to sleep, I sat in the still quiet of the living room and looked over at the candle ornaments they’d made hanging haphazardly on their little purple Christmas tree and I promised to try again today.  Knowing that Gracie does better earlier in the day, we’ll do the craft part at least in the afternoon.  Hopefully, that will help.  Even if it doesn’t, though, we’re going to keep trying.  Because in the long run, even if it’s difficult, joy and love are worth it.